Friday, January 29, 2010

This is Malaysia - What A True Malaysian Should Know

Love this forwarded mail a lot! Got it from my friend, KMS. If you nod more than 80% of these statements, then you are qualified to be a true Malaysian. So, you better nod and agree! =)

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS :
Ajinomoto

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :
Maggi Mee

NATIONAL BREAKFAST :
Nasi Lemak

NATIONAL LUNCH
Nasi Ayam

NATIONAL SUPPER
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE
Traffic Jam

NATIONAL CONDOM
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.
So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION :
Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK :
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything.

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN) :
Food Poisoning

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN) :
Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX :
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep,mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch 'Santa Barbara', depress, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX :
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all 'dried up'.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES :
Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA
Moh Fah Kor.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES)
Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES) :
The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RICE COOKER
NATIONAL Rice Cooker (this is my favourite haha)

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP :
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!

NATIONAL ANSWER FOR 'WHERE ARE YOU' ?
- on the way.

NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE :
- 10 minutes

NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE
Petrol naik lagi kawan... semua barang pun kena naik ler... inclusive chicken meat?

NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE :
Still cheaper than other country la....

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM
there was accident on the other side of the road.. of course must slow down and tengok-tengok, kaypoh-kaypoh lah! (very ture!!!)

NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION
'I got some work to do la..u all go first la..'

NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT ROOFS :
An act of God. Definitely nothing to with greased palms and poor quality control. Nope, none whatsoever.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS :
None. We were misquoted. (This is very true! Saw a good example on newspaper just now.)

NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES :
Orang cakap mau naik mesti mau naik lah! Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?!

NATIONAL REASON FOR SPURNING BAILOUT PACKAGES FROM FOREIGN CAR COMPANIES :
We're about to unveil another badly designed low budget car, which, coupled with our notorious customer service and corporate mismanagement, will see us bankrupt again
within the next 5 years. And so we have absolutely no need for the Germans and their silly car-making and market-positioning knowhow, thank you very much.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE (TRAFFIC JAM OR WHAT EVER QUEUE) :
Everybody doing what lah.......

NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE :
Relax ler... government will give discount one of these days

NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE (ANY CONDITION) :
Give them minum kopi lar...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Ayah......!

A man came home from work and his children ran to him and called out ‘Ayah! Ayah!’.

His neighbor got very upset and said to him, “Can you please tell your children not to call you ‘Ayah’?”

The man asked, “Why?”

The neighbor retorted, “Because my children call me 'Ayah'  too. They might get confused and mistake you to be their father.”

Then the man told his neighbour, "Are you not ashamed to say that your children do not know who their ‘Ayah’ is. So you are saying by using the word 'Ayah', your children will call me ayah too without knowing who is their father?"

The neighbour said, "Yes, only my children can use the word 'Ayah'."

The man said, "Then there is something wrong in what you are teaching your children. They are not sure and do not know who is their 'Ayah'."

Monday, January 25, 2010

A Barber in New York


Got this from my good bro JT. Love this kind of Malaysian joke. Enjoy!

There was once a very good barber in NEW YORK , who gave Free Haircuts to everybody who came into his shop to have their haircuts.

One day a florist went to him for a haircut.

After the cut, he wanted to pay the barber, but the barber replied.

'It's alright, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The Florist was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door .

A policeman went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.

But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Malaysian software engineer went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.

But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The Malaysian software engineer* was very* happy and left.

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, guess what he found there..............




Can you guess?



Come on, think like a Malaysian.....
**

**

**

**

**

**

**

**

**

**

**

*a dozen Malaysians waiting for free haircuts!*

Sunday, January 17, 2010

How we react over Weekdays?


Received this from a friend moments ago. Since today is a Monday, I think it makes perfect sense for me to share it right here.

Some people say weekdays are tiring and less exciting, because they are "weak-days".

Just remember, no matter on which day of the weekdays you are in,
be happy.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Boys VS Girls in Morning

Got this from a friend years ago. Still found it very amusing. Because... I'm just like the boy!
Guys, don't try to deny... lol.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Cute Animal Comic


In the last post we have seen the nail's world, now it's the animals' world. Cute ones! 

Hope you enjoyed them! =)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Nails' World

If you think a nail is merely a NAIL, then be amazed by what you will see here. *SALUTE* to the artist. Great composition, feelings and mood. As if each picture has its own story to tell. And most of the items used are trashes, so it's part of the recycling effort.
*clap* *clap*

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Creative Marketing

I like to design. Well, it's when I have the mood. Ha... These marketing strategies are brilliant by the way. But how come we don't see these things in Malaysia???

  Move your brains people! Hope to see these kind of things in Bukit Bintang or somewhere.
Related Posts with Thumbnails